Django Unchained Wiki
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{{Main
I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.It looks like a '''bison's penis!!!!!!'''
 
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|image1 = [[File:CalvinCandie2.jpg]]
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|caption =
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|name = Calvin J. Candie
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|alias = Monsieur Candie
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|gender = Male
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|born =1821
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|birthplace = USA
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|family = Unnamed father {{c|deceased}}<br>[[Lara Lee Candie-Fitzwilly]] {{c|sister; deceased}}<br>Unnamed grandfather {{c|deceased}}
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|job = Slaver
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|allies = [[Stephen]]<br>[[Leonide Moguy]]
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|enemies =
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|masters =
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|slaves = * [[Stephen]]
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* [[Big Fred]]
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* [[D'Artagnan]] {{c|killed}}
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* [[Cora]]
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* [[Sheba]]
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* [[Broomhilda Von Shaft]]
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|weapons = Hammer
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|status = Deceased<br>Shot by Dr. [[King Schultz]]
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|died = 1859
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|deathplace = [[Candyland]]
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|actor = [[Leonardo DiCaprio]]
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}}
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'''Calvin J. Candie''' (''June 6, 1821 - May 5, 1859'') was the [[wikipedia:Francophile|Francophile]] owner of the plantation [[Candyland]] and the initial main antagonist of [[Django Unchained]].
   
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Calvin Candie is one of the villians in ''Django Unchained''. He owns the fourth largest cotton plantation in Mississippi which he calls '''Candyland'''. Calvin Candie gets his wealth from three sources; the cotton from his plantation, which is his sole legitimate source of income. His other two are forcing male slaves to participate in brutal wrestling matches called Mandingo fights, and charging admission for spectators to come watch these fights. Calvin shows great joy in watching Mandingo fight displayed for the amusement of onlookers, despite the fact that these fights are damaging the health of his slaves and rendering them unfit to harvest cotton or any other jobs that needs to be done, which is directly hurting production of his plantation. Calvin even feeds a slave to dogs for refusing to fight any more of these gladiatorial battles. Calvin is only slightly less cruel to female slaves, assigning the older and homelier women to either harvesting cotton or housekeeping, but taking young attractive slave women to be prostituted in a brothel he also owns called the Cleopatra Club.
'''MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! XD'''
 
   
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His friend is [[Stephen]], a slave who caters to his every need to the detriment of his fellow slaves.  An odd thing about him is he insists on being called Monsieur when he doesn't know a word of French. His father owned the ranch and he grew up on it his whole life. Until his death, he was the owner of Django's wife Broomhilda von Schaft.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
 
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==History==
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===Meeting Django and Schultz===
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When [[Django]] and [[King Schultz|Schultz]] arrive at yoza ''Cleopatra Club*'', they are taken to the bar to meet Candie, who is watching two muscular slaves fight to the death. After the winning slave kills the losing slave (a rule that is part of the slave fight), Candie congratulates him and rewards him a drink. When Django meets Candie, he antagonizes him since he is [[Broomhilda|Broomhida]]'s owner. Schultz reminds him not to make Candie suspicious to which Django retorts that he is only trying to play the part. The duo begins a deal to purchase one of the fighting slaves as a coverage for rescuing Broomhilda.
   
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===Journey to Candyland===
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As the duo travel to Candyland, Django is riding horseback alongside Candie's hired white men while the fighter slaves walk on foot and Schultz is invited to share the carriage with Candie and his lawyer. During their travel, they meet up with slavers and hounds surrounding a tree in which a slave named [[D'Artagnan]] has climbed. Candie orders the slavers and hounds to remains quiet as he immediately speaks to D'Artagnan. Candie taunts him for his attempted escape and the slave reveals that he couldn't handle fighting anymore, even though he claimed he had won three matches. Candie reveals that D'Artagnan can't retire until he has won five fights in a row in order to recoup his investment for $500. Candie then orders the slavers to release their hounds to tear D'Artagnan into pieces, much to Django and Schultz's shock. Later, they travel directly to Candyland and meets with [[Stephen]], who is the only slave who dishabits his fellow slaves and is staunchly loyal to Candie. Stephen announces to Candie that Broomhilda has tried to escape and is captured for which she has been locked in a box outside since morning. Candie orders his men to release her and get her dressed. Django watches as his screaming wife is taken in the house.
   
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===Dinner===
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Candie, with his injured hand now bandaged after smashing a glass, is paid $12,000 by Schultz and signs a release form for Broomhilda von Schaft, making her a free woman. As Schultz turns to leave, Candie has one final thought: to shake Schultz's hand. Schultz refuses multiple times, but Candie insists, claiming that a deal in the South is not considered complete without a handshake. He orders one of his men to shoot Broomhilda should Schultz not comply. Schultz approaches Candie but draws his sleeve gun instead, shooting Candie in the chest, who stares at his wound wordlessly before dropping dead. Schultz then apologizes to Django before he is shot to death by Candie's guard [[Butch Pooch]] (who would later get shot to death by an angry Django) leading to a bloody gunfight as Stephen mourns and cries over his master's body. Eventually, he is buried within a casket at his funeral.
   
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== Quotes ==
WHERE’S THE LAMB SAUCEEEEEEEEEEE????? WHERE IS THE LAMB S A U C E ?
 
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"Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention"
   
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"Jesus Christ, Stephen! What is the point of having a slave that speaks German if you can't wheel 'em out when you have a German guest"
WHERE’S THE LAMB SAUCEEEEEE?????
 
   
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== Trivia ==
 
Fuck off you,you fat useless sack of fucking yankee dankee doodle shite,fuck off will you please,yeah?
 
 
 
 
 
Seeing Mystique sleeping naked on his bed was too much for the Juggernaut.Horny and lustful,he removed his helmet and proceeded to rip his clothes to shreds.Then,he reached into his pants and freed his raging and erect sturdy cock from its confines.Drooling gleefully,he then guided his penis into Mystique’s vagina as she stirred and gazed groggily at the Juggernaut.
 
 
“I’m going to fuck you,Raven!Who’s your daddy now?!”He yelled.
 
 
The Juggernaut’s penis then pierced Mystique’s vagina and then immediately ejaculated,releasing spurt after spurt after spurt after spurt of semen as he let out an inhuman roar.Disappointed,Mystique swore,then muttered,”This is why I always fuck Havok!At least I have multiple orgasms as I moan and shake uncontrollably while riding his 6-inch penis because he takes two hours before he fucking screams in ecstasy and shoots his bloody love juice from that fuckable plonker of his into my bloody fucking cunt! Now,that’s a proper fucking creampie!!”
 
 
Half of my heart’s in Havana ooh,na,na, He fucked me back in East Atlanta,ooh,na na.. Aaaah!I’m cumming!
 
 
 
SEARGEANT COCKSUCKER "Donuts and bananas are the greatest worries in life!"
 
 
Thus begins a new age... the age of Diabetes. PENIS FUCKER, a.k.a. Seargent Lolly(short for Lollipop Ladder Fodder). Seargent Lolly, the poor guy, accidentally—
 
 
"YUS IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! LOLLOLOLOLLLOLLY LOLOLYLYLYLYLLL—"
 
 
—ACCIDENTALLY ate himself because he was soooooo delicious to lick! In the end, only his younger tongue(wth?) was turned and mixed into a yo-yo because dinos is stupid. By the way wabbitz is so stoopid! Yoyoyiyoilolol! It can sing! It can dance! It's floor polish and a dessert topping! Enjoy your stay at the toyshop.I have to go to the bottom of the many people. I have to be a fictional character named Addressee. I'm going to get a new message. I'm not saying anything else you'd like to know. I'm not going anywhere else.Who is the best? Me!!!! The red carpet arrivals at the end of the month are not possible. I'm not going to be able to fart on the third floor. I will have a good time and I don't think I'll have to be grumpy.Hippopotamuses!They make sure you are interested in Scrabble! The place in my butt is not available for your stay today.Your homework was eaten by my parents! I'm going there for the third time! I will be going through my emails and attachments if you want me to. I have been working with your parents to help my clients and customers.Hast thou farted in his own face?I thinkest not because thou hast no butt. There is a crazy dragon and I don't like it because it is annoyingly destructive. I'm going to cut it up and turn it into a sauteed dragon steak which might even taste delicious. I am looking for a place to fart in peace as I don't want to be disturbed when doing so.The only thing that makes sense here is that nothing makes sense unless you want it to make sense.Clever,right?Well,anyway, you have to be able to get the fundings for the classes or else you will suffer.I am going to cut you into pieces along with the sauteed dragon steak for dinner. The place for partying with your parents and children is not available for you.You have been trolled. I'm going to yell and wake my pet cat up.
 
 
From a YOLO USERRRR
 
 
SEARGEANT COCKSUCKER "Donuts and bananas are the greatest worries in life!"
 
 
Thus begins a new age... the age of Diabetes. PENIS FUCKER, a.k.a. Seargent Lolly(short for Lollipop Ladder Fodder). Seargent Lolly, the poor guy, accidentally—
 
 
"YUS IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! LOLLOLOLOLLLOLLY LOLOLYLYLYLYLLL—"
 
 
—ACCIDENTALLY ate himself because he was soooooo delicious to lick! In the end, only his younger tongue(wth?) was turned and mixed into a yo-yo because dinos is stupid. By the way wabbitz is so stoopid! Yoyoyiyoilolol! It can sing! It can dance! It's floor polish and a dessert topping! Enjoy your stay at the toyshop.I have to go to the bottom of the many people. I have to be a fictional character named Addressee. I'm going to get a new message. I'm not saying anything else you'd like to know. I'm not going anywhere else.Who is the best? Me!!!! The red carpet arrivals at the end of the month are not possible. I'm not going to be able to fart on the third floor. I will have a good time and I don't think I'll have to be grumpy.Hippopotamuses!They make sure you are interested in Scrabble! The place in my butt is not available for your stay today.Your homework was eaten by my parents! I'm going there for the third time! I will be going through my emails and attachments if you want me to. I have been working with your parents to help my clients and customers.Hast thou farted in his own face?I thinkest not because thou hast no butt. There is a crazy dragon and I don't like it because it is annoyingly destructive. I'm going to cut it up and turn it into a sauteed dragon steak which might even taste delicious. I am looking for a place to fart in peace as I don't want to be disturbed when doing so.The only thing that makes sense here is that nothing makes sense unless you want it to make sense.Clever,right?Well,anyway, you have to be able to get the fundings for the classes or else you will suffer.I am going to cut you into pieces along with the sauteed dragon steak for dinner. The place for partying with your parents and children is not available for you.You have been trolled. I'm going to yell and wake my pet cat up.
 
 
[[Category:Characters|Candie]]
 
[[Category:Characters|Candie]]
 
[[Category:Slavers|Candie]]
 
[[Category:Slavers|Candie]]

Revision as of 15:10, 1 December 2021

Calvin J. Candie (June 6, 1821 - May 5, 1859) was the Francophile owner of the plantation Candyland and the initial main antagonist of Django Unchained.

Calvin Candie is one of the villians in Django Unchained. He owns the fourth largest cotton plantation in Mississippi which he calls Candyland. Calvin Candie gets his wealth from three sources; the cotton from his plantation, which is his sole legitimate source of income. His other two are forcing male slaves to participate in brutal wrestling matches called Mandingo fights, and charging admission for spectators to come watch these fights. Calvin shows great joy in watching Mandingo fight displayed for the amusement of onlookers, despite the fact that these fights are damaging the health of his slaves and rendering them unfit to harvest cotton or any other jobs that needs to be done, which is directly hurting production of his plantation. Calvin even feeds a slave to dogs for refusing to fight any more of these gladiatorial battles. Calvin is only slightly less cruel to female slaves, assigning the older and homelier women to either harvesting cotton or housekeeping, but taking young attractive slave women to be prostituted in a brothel he also owns called the Cleopatra Club.

His friend is Stephen, a slave who caters to his every need to the detriment of his fellow slaves.  An odd thing about him is he insists on being called Monsieur when he doesn't know a word of French. His father owned the ranch and he grew up on it his whole life. Until his death, he was the owner of Django's wife Broomhilda von Schaft.

History

Meeting Django and Schultz

When Django and Schultz arrive at yoza Cleopatra Club*, they are taken to the bar to meet Candie, who is watching two muscular slaves fight to the death. After the winning slave kills the losing slave (a rule that is part of the slave fight), Candie congratulates him and rewards him a drink. When Django meets Candie, he antagonizes him since he is Broomhida's owner. Schultz reminds him not to make Candie suspicious to which Django retorts that he is only trying to play the part. The duo begins a deal to purchase one of the fighting slaves as a coverage for rescuing Broomhilda.

Journey to Candyland

As the duo travel to Candyland, Django is riding horseback alongside Candie's hired white men while the fighter slaves walk on foot and Schultz is invited to share the carriage with Candie and his lawyer. During their travel, they meet up with slavers and hounds surrounding a tree in which a slave named D'Artagnan has climbed. Candie orders the slavers and hounds to remains quiet as he immediately speaks to D'Artagnan. Candie taunts him for his attempted escape and the slave reveals that he couldn't handle fighting anymore, even though he claimed he had won three matches. Candie reveals that D'Artagnan can't retire until he has won five fights in a row in order to recoup his investment for $500. Candie then orders the slavers to release their hounds to tear D'Artagnan into pieces, much to Django and Schultz's shock. Later, they travel directly to Candyland and meets with Stephen, who is the only slave who dishabits his fellow slaves and is staunchly loyal to Candie. Stephen announces to Candie that Broomhilda has tried to escape and is captured for which she has been locked in a box outside since morning. Candie orders his men to release her and get her dressed. Django watches as his screaming wife is taken in the house.

Dinner

Candie, with his injured hand now bandaged after smashing a glass, is paid $12,000 by Schultz and signs a release form for Broomhilda von Schaft, making her a free woman. As Schultz turns to leave, Candie has one final thought: to shake Schultz's hand. Schultz refuses multiple times, but Candie insists, claiming that a deal in the South is not considered complete without a handshake. He orders one of his men to shoot Broomhilda should Schultz not comply. Schultz approaches Candie but draws his sleeve gun instead, shooting Candie in the chest, who stares at his wound wordlessly before dropping dead. Schultz then apologizes to Django before he is shot to death by Candie's guard Butch Pooch (who would later get shot to death by an angry Django) leading to a bloody gunfight as Stephen mourns and cries over his master's body. Eventually, he is buried within a casket at his funeral.

Quotes

"Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention"

"Jesus Christ, Stephen! What is the point of having a slave that speaks German if you can't wheel 'em out when you have a German guest"

Trivia